dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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