Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
