No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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