recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
