Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
