Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
