At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
