From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
