Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
operation harelip BJ is a go
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
