Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
