How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
