hotel room ftw
Need sex. Gaining weight.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
