i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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