I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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