my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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