Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
