Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize