Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
