I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
