If i come over, it means nothing
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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