Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize