508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
