Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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