Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
