I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
