Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you never un-have a 4some
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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