doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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