end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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