I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
