I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
