I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Randomize
