i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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