Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
