margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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