I'm really into asian looking animals
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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