You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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