i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
