I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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