this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
