who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
