yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
