Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
