She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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