Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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