oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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