My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
