i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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