I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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