it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize