Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize