i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
