I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
