i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
