somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
