Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
