I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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