...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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