uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
