Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
